Squish Them All Together
by artificiallysweet
Summary: Things get complicated for Lilly when Ray AND Kite want her back. But...she's with Joseph. Oh, the suspence! Chapter2 Up! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own cold case, wish I did though. Then again, who doesn't?

….And I thought things were bad before I realized Joseph was still alive. If only we knew then what we know now. What a cliché! Some days I feel like a walking, talking cliché myself. It's like my sole purpose of getting out of bed some days is to purely contradict myself throughout the day.

Just when I think things are going my way for once, luck does a complete 180 on me.

Just like today, I woke up in a completely different environment. Clearly, I didn't spend the night at home. I made my way downstairs to find Joseph making me breakfast. He was planning on giving me breakfast in bed. But, I'd beaten him to the punch.

I even managed to get to work on time today. Not like yesterday. I never really noticed how time consuming sex was until yesterday, when I turned up almost an hour late. Needless to say, Scotty and Nick wouldn't let me live it down. Even this morning I copped a few puns from the pair of them. Lilly has a sex life? Who knew? I'd tell them to call CNN and act as if it were the apocalypse, but they probably would.

Anyways, a phone call from Joseph and a few hours later, it was lunch. That's when things started to turn. Especially when I headed out to find Ray waiting for me outside. He was sitting on that damned Harley of his. He told me he'd come back for me, and that he wasn't going to give up without a fight. Which was, flattering, of course. And it took me all of my will power not to get on the back of that bike, as I'd done only months earlier. But I had Joseph now, and that meant the world to me. And Ray, being as stubborn as he is, said he wouldn't go back on his word. Unfortunately, I knew this was true.

I was pretty quiet for the rest of the day. I called Joseph before I knocked off and told him I wanted to spend a night by myself. It's had been a tedious day at work. He said he understood and he'd call me tomorrow. I felt so bad about lying to him. It was the last thing I wanted to do. But I hardy wanted to tell him that an ex-boyfriend had turned up during the day and wanted me back, and said he'd do whatever it took to have me back. If I was in his position, I would have preferred it this way.

I was just about to turn off the TV and go to bed when I heard a knock at the door. I half expected it to be Scotty, telling me that we needed to go into work for something or other. Or even someone looking for the neighbors who had the wrong address. Who could it be at thins time of the night? Really? So you could imagine my surprise when I saw Kite on the other side of my doorway. And it wasn't a visit for professional reasons.

20 minutes of pure explanations, a trip to the bathroom to calm my nerves, and a shot of vodka later, I learned that Kite was in love with me. Or so he said. This was the last thing I expected to hear. The last time I even thought about him was when I called him that night and left a message on his machine. Granted, I was half drunk. Ok, so maybe I was a little more than half drunk. I still don't know what possessed me to do that. And I don't think I ever will. Good knows my torch for Kite burned out long ago. A long, long time ago.

Until today, I thought I knew the definition for the phrase 'worst day ever'. But now, I've got a whole new outlook on that. In my world, this surpasses every bad day I've ever had. And I've had a lot of bad days.

Now what I think of it. That's a bit of an over statement. I don't think any day could be as bad as the day I found out Christina had slept with Patrick. But this was definitely bad day #2 on my list.

Last night was probably the first night in about a year I'd spent tossing and turning, and waking almost every hour. There just seemed to be this sinking feeling in my stomach that I couldn't comprehend. For the first time in a long time, I felt completely totally and completely out of control of my life. I didn't like this feeling the first time around, and I sure as hell don't like it this time around.

By morning, nothing had changed a whole lot. Except for my hair, which was more scruffy and knotted than the usual. Courtesy of the restless night no less. Before long, it was time to go to work. I was going to be a crappy day. I could feel it already.

Just as I had expected, the day was a bummer. I only talked if it was absolutely necessary; there was a severe lack of concentration. And I had the attention span of a goldfish. Which wasn't helping anyone, and scored me numerous curious stares and looks from the guys. I couldn't believe that they hadn't already asked me why I was so out of it. Or maybe they had, and I had completely ignored them while I was off in my own little extremely complicated universe. But I'm sure I would have noticed if one of them were staring at me, only centremeters away from my face.

Thank God, it's almost 5pm. The sooner I get out of here the better. I'm positive today would have been a whole lot more constructive if I were put on paperwork duty. Not that I would have got it all done. My mind's way too preoccupied for that. Not that I'm normally that diligent when it comes to paperwork. None of us really are. But then again, who is?

Just when I thought I was off the hook for the day, Will approached me. I knew what was coming. In the back of my mind I knew the guys must have been scheming something during the course of the day.

"You OK Lil?" He asked. Will never really like to delve into my personal life, but he knew something was bugging me. "You've seemed out of it all day."

"Just got something on my mind." I say as I look into his eyes. They're genuinely concerned, I can tell. They don't have that underlying glint Scotty normally has when he asks about my personal life. If there's a glint, they're asking for their own purpose, not because they think I might need to talk about something.

"You wanna talk about it?"

I thought about it for a second. I would be nice to get this off my chest. "Things just haven't been going my way the past day."

"How so?"

"Yesterday, when I left for lunch, Ray was waiting outside for me." I say as I slump back into my chair and sigh. "He said came back for me and he'd do whatever it took to have me back."

"And it's making you think about you and Joseph?"

I nodded back. "It gets worse. Kite showed up on my doorstep last night and told me he loved me."

"Wow."

"You think you're surprised, imagine my reaction."

"I bet."

"You wanna know the funny thing?" I ask as I stand up, grabbing my bag out from under the desk. The boss won't mind if I leave a few minutes earlier, I haven't been much used today anyway. "In the past 24 hours, I've had 3 men tell me that they love me and wanna be with me. Any woman would be ecstatic right about now. But here I am, in that exact position, and I'm caught in the middle."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Squish them all together and create the perfect men." I joke and head off towards the elevator, smiling for the first time that day.

If only I could……


	2. Chapter 2

Where's a magic genie lamp when you need one? It's the same with pens and hair-ties, when you want one, you can never seem to find one. But when you're not looking, they seem to magically appear all over the place.

I'm so glad I didn't have to go into work today. Things have been bad enough, let alone if I had a case to work. Sure, I'd just about kill for a distraction, but the sooner I get this catastrophic mess out of my life the better. I guess I should be used to catastrophic messes by now. I've spent the best part of my life living on or another. Which is sad, I know, but it is what it is I guess.

Hmm, 3.30, great! Joseph will be here within the hour. I called and told him I had something to tell him. My conscience was getting way too persuasive. Damned conscience. The longer I keep lying to him, the more hurt he'll und up being. Which is the last thing I wanted.

Yeah, that genie is sounding even better by the second. Whoever invented choices and decisions should be resurrected and murdered in the most painful, torturous ways. I wish the answer would just appear in the next mirror I look at, or the next piece of paper I see. If only it were that easy, and would appear within the next 20 minutes. Well before Joseph gets here anyway.

Joseph. When he smiles, it's enough to make any woman weak in the knees. He is honestly the most caring, gentle, thoughtful and romantic man I've met in my entire life. We didn't exactly meet under the best of circumstances, but he could easily be the best thing to come into my life in a long, long time. There's just so many thing's I love about him. Too many to list.

But Ray and I have history together. A lot of history at that. We've known each other for almost half our lives. We haven't exactly kept in touch all that time, but once every two years or so, we'd seem to run into each other. I was such a sucker for the whole 'bad-boy' thing in my earlier years. It was more of a rebellious phase to get back at 'mommy dearest' if anything. Not that I grew out of that phase too quickly.

There was even a time when I thought I loved Ray. But, stuff happened, not mentioning any names Christina, and we went our separate ways. For the time being anyway. Given the chance, Ray and I could have had the potential for something more, but I never really have him pegged as the 'setting-down' type.

Then there leaves Kite. It's been a while, but I can still remember the first time he kissed me. That cold winter night, standing in the snow. It was something alright.

After the first few dates, I finally figured out exactly what that 'something' was; lust. Good old fashioned lust. But that's all it was. But don't get me wrong, it was good. While it lasted.

Crap! _Was that the doorbell already? _I curse and get up from my slumped state on the lounge and answer the door.

As expected, Joseph was standing on the other side. He looks worried. Maybe I could have worded the conversation on the phone a little better. The words 'we have to talk' and 'I need to tell you something' have the capacity to make men somewhat nervous.

He asks me who I've been as he holds me. I tell him I've been fine, and the words 'don't worry about me' automatically slip out. He hates it when I say that and tells me that it's 'almost impossible' to.

Half an hour later, I sat Joseph down and eventually told him about the evens of the past few days. As expected, he wasn't the happiest cookie in the jar. But he said he understood why I didn't tell him sooner. But I could still see the hurt.

He sat there for a while, presumably processing what I'd just told him. I gathered it was rather a shock to the system.

"Jose, say something." All this silence is un-nerving.

"Ok, so where does this leave us?"

"Well, I'm not leaving you if that's what you mean."

"Why not? You could have all you want with one of those other guys. One owns his own mechanic business and the other works for the DA's office for Christ Sakes."

"True, I could. But I've already got all I want."

He smiles at me. "And what is it exactly that you want?" _Ha! I know this game. He already knows the answer; he just wants to hear me say it._

"Just you." I reply, matching his smile with one for my own.

"Yeah?" He asks knowingly as his lips begin to hover mine.

It's almost a whisper, but I know he heard it loud and clear. "Yeah." I reply and close the space between us.


End file.
